Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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