It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Randomize
