Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
