Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
