theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
