she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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