I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
