it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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