the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
