He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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