u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I have tasted many bathrooms
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
