I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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