SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize