So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
