Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Randomize
