I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Well I just put wine in my tea
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
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