This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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