All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
