i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
