Non-Jews are for practice
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
