i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
