You're my little dorito
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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