Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize