Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
