There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
