I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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