It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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