Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
