I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
