You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
