I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
He felt like a one man threesome
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize