So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize