just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
