And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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