I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
