She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
