I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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