She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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