Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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