In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You took a bar mat shot.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
