We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I think we might need a safe word for this...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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