Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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