I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
