u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
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