just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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