I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
