I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
