so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Princesses don't give blow jobs
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize