you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
