This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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