You smell like a Billy Joel song
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
