A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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