I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
