She's JV to your varsity
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize