there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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