she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
