I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
