***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize