Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
